1 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,717 How's it going, wojo? 2 00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:09,553 Pbht! 3 00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:11,254 That well, huh? 4 00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:14,358 Barn, these files are Totally screwed up. 5 00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:16,459 Okay, what's the problem? 6 00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:18,362 The file on prostitution. 7 00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:19,629 Yeah? 8 00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:21,431 It's empty. 9 00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:23,366 That doesn't seem possible. 10 00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:27,003 Nick had them filed According to specialty. 11 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,306 "C" for "Call girls," 12 00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:31,474 "S" for "Streetwalkers," 13 00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:33,510 "M" for "Massagers," 14 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:37,135 And, uh..."T" for... 15 00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:42,052 Uh... Tarts? 16 00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:44,620 Trollops? 17 00:00:44,644 --> 00:00:45,910 Twins. 18 00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:49,881 The inscrutible little scamp. 19 00:00:51,351 --> 00:00:53,051 - uh, barney. - yeah. 20 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,032 Some more bogus notes here, 21 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,601 Same high quality as the others. 22 00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,603 Any purchases we can Check them against... 23 00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:02,004 Cameras, stereo, nothing? 24 00:01:02,028 --> 00:01:05,008 Nope, just staples... A Loaf of bread, a dozen eggs. 25 00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:07,577 That would take an Awful lot of purchases 26 00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:08,879 To produce enough change 27 00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:10,947 To make an operation Like this worthwhile. 28 00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,748 I got a theory, barney. 29 00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:14,217 Maybe we're dealing 30 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:17,242 With somebody who's Just plain stupid. 31 00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:20,957 Barn, I mean, it's Just a theory. 32 00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:23,793 I didn't... Excuse me, sergeant. 33 00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:25,995 I looked through All those pictures, 34 00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:28,765 And the guy that passed Me that funny money... 35 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:30,167 He ain't in there. 36 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:33,403 Okay, thank you, mr. Becker. 37 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,705 Oh, mr. Becker, this Is captain miller. 38 00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:37,173 Mr. Becker. 39 00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:39,276 - pleased to meet you, captain. - mr. Becker. 40 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:40,877 I got a description, barn, 41 00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:42,912 And it's in circulation Now, so, uh... 42 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,414 Fine. 43 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:47,784 Thank you, mr. Becker. We Appreciate your cooperation. 44 00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:50,420 Only wish there were More citizens like you. 45 00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:57,226 Oh! By the way, where Do I get my money? 46 00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:59,161 I beg your pardon? 47 00:01:59,185 --> 00:02:01,498 Well, you know, The reimbursement 48 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,866 For that fake Stuff I brought in. 49 00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:07,770 I'm afraid there is no Reimbursement, mr. Becker. 50 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:10,240 Didn't sergeant harris explain 51 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:13,242 The implications of Your cooperation? 52 00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:16,546 I save it till last, barney. 53 00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:19,516 It's a bad habit I got. 54 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:22,752 Barn, there's a disturbance 55 00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:24,821 Over at the medical Arts center on 14th. 56 00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:26,123 I'll take it. 57 00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:28,791 Those files will still be Here when you get back. 58 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,426 Okay. 59 00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:32,328 - take a uniform. - all right. 60 00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:34,864 Now, let me get This thing straight. 61 00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:38,334 If I had kept this money 62 00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:41,003 And then passed it Off to some other jerk, 63 00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:43,039 Then I wouldn't be out anything. 64 00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,774 Right. 65 00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:47,878 But if I do my duty Like a good citizen, 66 00:02:47,902 --> 00:02:50,413 Report it, turn the money in, 67 00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:52,937 Then I'm out 36 bucks? 68 00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:57,287 Right. 69 00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:59,489 Oh. 70 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,025 Now I got it. 71 00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,164 You know, they never tell you 72 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,800 About these little Things in civics class. 73 00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,302 I'm sorry... 74 00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:15,171 All they ever tell you is you Should vote in every election 75 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:19,242 And that everybody is Entitled to a little justice. 76 00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:22,845 There is no justice, In or out of court. 77 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,514 Clarence darrow. 78 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:29,886 But... Upholding the law Is everybody's business. 79 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,176 Dick tracy, "Crimestoppers' textbook." 80 00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:46,462 Did you talk to the Treasury department yet? 81 00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:47,897 Uh, yeah. 82 00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:50,934 Any mention of assistance In the counterfeit case? 83 00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:52,735 In a lackluster sort of way. 84 00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:56,539 They said they'll shake an Agent loose as soon as they can. 85 00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:59,275 Wonderful. By that time, We can solve it ourselves. 86 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,539 I kind of believe that's What they're counting on. 87 00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:06,249 Ta-da! Surprise! 88 00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:07,583 Guess who! 89 00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:09,084 Inspector. 90 00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:11,086 Yeah! 91 00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:12,822 How are you? 92 00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:14,157 Good to see you. 93 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,092 - hey, har. - how you doing, inspector? 94 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,660 - welcome back. - thanks, d.D. 95 00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:20,763 It's good to be back In harness again. 96 00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:23,032 You know? Huh? I want To thank all of you. 97 00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:24,634 I want to thank all of you 98 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,437 From the bottom of This slightly defective 99 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:29,572 Little old ticker of mine, huh? 100 00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:31,307 I just never Expected to see you... 101 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,075 What, to pull through? 102 00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:34,577 No! 103 00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:36,712 To be up and around so soon. 104 00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,448 I did. 105 00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:42,017 Just my familiarity with Modern post-cardiac care. 106 00:05:42,041 --> 00:05:43,118 They want to get you out 107 00:05:43,142 --> 00:05:44,987 And exercise your Weak heart muscles. 108 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,956 Dietrich? 109 00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:47,980 Inspector? 110 00:05:49,248 --> 00:05:52,695 Dietrich, after all, it Is my heart condition. 111 00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:54,964 I'm sorry. I didn't mean To steal your thunder. 112 00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:57,367 I'm kidding, dietrich. 113 00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:59,602 See you in the office In a minute, barney. 114 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,604 - sure. - thank you. 115 00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:04,563 Wise-guy know-it-all. 116 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,446 I want to see this Butcher locked up! 117 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:12,348 Who you calling a Butcher? I'm a doctor. 118 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,284 Oh, you got two jobs Now, huh? Big deal! 119 00:06:14,308 --> 00:06:15,418 Hey, hey, put a lid on it. 120 00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:17,754 Yeah, that goes for me, too! 121 00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:20,190 Best to be consistent In these matters. 122 00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:22,057 What do we got, wojo? 123 00:06:22,081 --> 00:06:24,093 Well, this is robert lovell, 124 00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:26,162 And this is dr. Rene boudreau. 125 00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:28,231 Dr. Boudreau? What's the problem? 126 00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:29,965 This hack mutilated my wife. 127 00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:31,333 I improved your wife. 128 00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:33,503 Okay, okay. Improved? 129 00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:36,206 Yeah, dr. Boudreau's A plastic surgeon. 130 00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:38,708 So he worked on Mr. Lovell's wife. 131 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:41,043 Looks like he worked On her with a jackhammer! 132 00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:43,413 Mr. Lovell went down There and took a punch at him. 133 00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:44,714 By the time we got there, 134 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,749 They were rolling Around the waiting room. 135 00:06:46,773 --> 00:06:49,151 Mm-hmm, and he broke one Of my early-american lamps. 136 00:06:49,175 --> 00:06:50,686 He's nothing but a big bruiser. 137 00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:52,488 My, my, aren't we savage? 138 00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:54,557 All right, all right, all right. 139 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:57,126 Wojo, you want to Take care of mr. Lovell? 140 00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:59,495 And, dr. Boudreau, 141 00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:01,997 Sergeant dietrich will Take your statement. 142 00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:03,741 Dietrich: over here, doc. 143 00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:06,258 Wojo: okay, lovell, Come on. Let's go. 144 00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:10,906 Will there be Anything else, sir? 145 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:13,743 No, uh, levitt, Uh, that'll be all. 146 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:14,944 Uh, sir. 147 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:17,935 - I just... Oh, uh, Ahem, barney? 148 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,650 You understand. 149 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:21,851 Yes, sir. 150 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,307 Priorities. 151 00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:30,660 Detectives dump on the uniforms, 152 00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:32,728 Captain dumps on the detectives, 153 00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:34,819 And the commissioner Dumps on everybody. 154 00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:39,902 You know that balance Of nature stuff? 155 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:41,425 It stinks. 156 00:07:44,431 --> 00:07:46,241 I tell you, barney, 157 00:07:46,265 --> 00:07:48,544 You get hit with Something like this, 158 00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:50,580 It makes you stop for a minute. 159 00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:55,017 It makes you step back And take a long, hard look 160 00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:58,554 At this crazy Quilt we call life. 161 00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:00,890 Yeah, that's true. 162 00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:02,425 Pardon me, barn? 163 00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:04,927 I said, yes, that's Right. That's true. 164 00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:08,464 I guess... Sooner or later 165 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,301 We all contemplate Our mortality. 166 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,369 Well put, barney. 167 00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:15,338 That's just what agnes says. 168 00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:16,706 Who? 169 00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:19,742 Agnes, my... My lady friend. 170 00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:21,911 Oh, right, yes, agnes. 171 00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:24,814 Of course, she doesn't use The fancy language like you do. 172 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,216 She... How did she put it? 173 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:31,821 She says, "Life is like A merry-go-round. 174 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:35,224 "Sometimes we get On... Nice, smooth ride. 175 00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:39,428 "And sometimes the Motor goes out of control. 176 00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:44,267 You get thrown off your Pony right onto your keister." 177 00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,302 Agnes said that? 178 00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:50,828 That's why I want to talk To you about her, barney. 179 00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:54,577 Okay, what's your occupation? 180 00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:56,834 I run my own import business. 181 00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:00,716 In fact, I was in Korea buying baskets 182 00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:02,885 When this joker Carved up my wife! 183 00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:06,121 Hey, your wife did Consent to it, right? 184 00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:07,823 She signed a paper, if That's what you mean. 185 00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:09,392 That's what I mean. 186 00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:12,295 That woman will sign anything... Petitions to ban the bomb, 187 00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:15,431 Stop pollution, Save the baby seals. 188 00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:17,255 It's depraved, isn't it? 189 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,636 Real sick. 190 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:22,305 Yeah. 191 00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:25,941 On the other hand, barney, She can cook a little. 192 00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:29,678 She don't make a whole Lot of noise when she eats. 193 00:09:29,702 --> 00:09:33,382 She's got some other Good qualities, too. 194 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:36,019 I'm sure she does. 195 00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:37,586 Well, barney? 196 00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:40,356 Well, inspector? 197 00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,758 There's the evidence? What's your verdict? 198 00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:44,327 What do you think? 199 00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:46,262 About what? 200 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:50,900 About me and agnes Getting engaged. 201 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,469 Inspector, 202 00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:56,706 It's not my place, or anyone Else's, for that matter, 203 00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:58,074 To make that kind of decision. 204 00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:01,177 Well, you must have an Opinion, for heaven's sakes. 205 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,980 My opinion, if any, Doesn't matter. 206 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,915 That's your opinion. 207 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,217 Yes. 208 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,820 Barney, there you go. 209 00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:15,157 There you go, straddling On the fence again, huh? 210 00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:16,759 Getting wishy-washy. 211 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,795 You just won't come Out and commit yourself. 212 00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:22,131 Inspector, this is not My commitment to make. 213 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,732 Yes? 214 00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:25,434 Barney? 215 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,568 Inspector, you all right? 216 00:10:26,592 --> 00:10:27,904 Hmm? 217 00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:30,673 Oh, I'm just fine, just fine. 218 00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:32,374 Honest. Really, really. 219 00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:35,244 It must have been some Of that sour yogurt 220 00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:36,812 Coming back up again. 221 00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:41,651 Barn, there was some bad Bills passed out on lexington, 222 00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:43,285 Over at a laundry. 223 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,455 The owner says he knows Who gave them to him. 224 00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:47,923 All right, check it Out. Take a uniform. 225 00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:49,425 Uh, yeah. 226 00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:52,027 Inspector, can I Get you anything... 227 00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:53,463 Some water, something? 228 00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:56,799 No, no, I'm fine. Fine, thanks. 229 00:10:56,823 --> 00:11:00,703 Really. Really, har. I'm a very lucky man. 230 00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:03,673 I used to have my good health, 231 00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:05,262 My good friends. 232 00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:09,967 Thank god I still Got my good friends. 233 00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:25,862 Uh, got the quarterly Inventories here. 234 00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:27,529 Where do you want Me to put them? 235 00:11:27,553 --> 00:11:31,000 Keeping in mind my Rank as you answer. 236 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,669 I'll take them right here. 237 00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:34,503 Seen luger around? 238 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,605 Yeah, he said he was Going out to lunch. 239 00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:37,806 Oh, good. 240 00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,308 Uh... 241 00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:41,732 He thanked me for Being his friend. 242 00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:45,781 Then there was, Uh, ralph menninger, 243 00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:48,484 The human cannonball. Oh, wow, I tell you, 244 00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:51,287 Be was my piéce de resistance. 245 00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:54,290 Look, I had to totally Reconstruct his face. 246 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:57,060 You know? Borrowing from Various parts of his body. 247 00:11:57,084 --> 00:12:00,429 Uh, a piece of skin here, A chip of bone there. 248 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,265 That's fascinating. 249 00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:04,355 Did you ever hear the song... 250 00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:08,125 "Put on a happy face"? 251 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,762 I don't want to Discuss it anymore. 252 00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:15,845 Um, I processed mr. Lovell And dr. Boudreau. 253 00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:18,581 They still want to sign Complaints against each other. 254 00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:20,816 All right. Out him in the cage. 255 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,039 Come on, doc. 256 00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:30,226 Can I help you, doctor? 257 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:33,262 Oh, no, no. 258 00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:36,065 Just professional curiosity. 259 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,889 Get in the cage. 260 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,537 In here, ma'am. 261 00:12:42,561 --> 00:12:44,406 You better watch your Step with those glasses on. 262 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,797 Oh, thank you very much. 263 00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:48,477 Lisa? 264 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,345 Robert! 265 00:12:50,369 --> 00:12:53,583 What are you doing in Jail... With my doctor? 266 00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,051 Hello, lisa. 267 00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:57,419 Hello. I'm captain miller. 268 00:12:57,443 --> 00:13:00,022 Yes. What's this all about? 269 00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:02,357 Why are robert and Rene in that cell? 270 00:13:02,381 --> 00:13:03,558 "Rene"? 271 00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:06,050 They're both being Held on assault charges. 272 00:13:08,087 --> 00:13:10,166 What is going on here, robert? 273 00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:12,335 Lisa... 274 00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:16,172 There's no need to air our Dirty linen in public, lisa. 275 00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:18,107 But you're in jail. 276 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,642 I know I'm in jail. 277 00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:21,510 We'll talk about it When we get home! 278 00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:25,213 Oh, I do not believe This. I do not believe this. 279 00:13:25,237 --> 00:13:27,115 Lisa, I think you Should know the truth. 280 00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,851 He came to my Office to beat me up. 281 00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:31,920 Robert, is that true? 282 00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:34,157 - yes, it's true. - mm-hmm. 283 00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:35,725 What am I supposed to do? 284 00:13:35,749 --> 00:13:37,526 Stand idly by while Some perverted surgeon 285 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:38,894 Talks you into Mutilating yourself? 286 00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:40,796 You implying I'm perverted? 287 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,865 God knows what You've done to yourself. 288 00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:44,833 Okay, okay, that's enough. 289 00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:46,569 Captain, could I just See my husband alone... 290 00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:49,171 Oh, don't look at me, please. 291 00:13:49,195 --> 00:13:50,528 Dietrich. 292 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:56,745 Anything else, sir? 293 00:13:56,769 --> 00:13:59,281 No, levitt. That'll be it. 294 00:13:59,305 --> 00:14:02,351 Sir, I... Okay, in here, walt. 295 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,520 Thank you very much, sergeant. 296 00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:06,289 You're very welcome. 297 00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:08,246 Well, hello, there, young man. 298 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,449 Hi, there, old person. 299 00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:18,367 Harris? 300 00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:21,470 Oh, barney, I'd like you To meet walter hathaway. 301 00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,506 Walt, captain miller. 302 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,340 - how do you do, captain? - mr. Hathaway. 303 00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:27,610 Now, please, call me walt. 304 00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:29,445 He insists. 305 00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:34,250 And walt is, uh... Our counterfeiter. 306 00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:37,152 Our counterfeiter? 307 00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:40,656 Oh, that's a nasty Word, counterfeiter. 308 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:44,560 But I suppose there are Some even more reprehensible. 309 00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:47,430 I suppose. 310 00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:50,132 Barn, this was in Mr. Hathaway's room 311 00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:51,500 When we went in, 312 00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:54,770 And these are the Plates for the $1.00 bills... 313 00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:57,205 Look almost perfect to me. 314 00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:59,542 Well, thank you very much. 315 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:03,345 However, it was Extremely suspicious 316 00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:06,349 When he tried to Pass one of these 5s. 317 00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:08,373 Oh, I'm so embarrassed. 318 00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,088 Looks pretty good to me. 319 00:15:13,112 --> 00:15:15,157 Check abe's jacket. 320 00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:17,460 Yeah. 321 00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:20,028 It's kind of Strange. It's like a... 322 00:15:20,052 --> 00:15:22,265 Leisure suit? 323 00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:24,634 Yeah, right. 324 00:15:24,658 --> 00:15:27,670 See, I'm afraid my eyes 325 00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:28,937 Aren't just what They used to be, 326 00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:32,040 Not like they were when I did the dollar plates. 327 00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:36,279 And, uh, when was That, mister, uh... 328 00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:38,013 Walt? 329 00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:40,316 Well, now, let me see. 330 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:47,056 I believe it was, Um, 19... 1963. 331 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,324 '63? 332 00:15:49,348 --> 00:15:51,060 You mean to tell me 333 00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:54,162 You've been printing your Own money for 16 years? 334 00:15:54,186 --> 00:15:58,188 As I've needed it, Only as I've needed it. 335 00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:02,438 Here you go, harris. 336 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:05,273 Walt, you want to take A seat over here, please? 337 00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:07,009 Oh, sure, I'd be glad to. 338 00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:11,413 ♪ I'm gettin' married In the mornin' ♪ 339 00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:14,383 ♪ ding dong, the Bells are gonna chime ♪ 340 00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:18,086 ♪ pull out the stopper, Let's have a whopper ♪ 341 00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:20,611 ♪ but get me to The church on time ♪ 342 00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:25,896 I didn't know they set the date. 343 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,254 Gentlemen, you will excuse me. 344 00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:34,737 Now, let's see, where was I? 345 00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:36,138 Oh, yes. 346 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,206 It was during the second war 347 00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:40,809 That I started my Training in engraving, 348 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:44,146 Making the metal Plates for military scrip. 349 00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:47,616 Fascinating... I mean, Simply fascinating. 350 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,118 You know, walt, 351 00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:52,855 You are one of the most Interesting, colorful, 352 00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:56,058 Informative people I have ever met. 353 00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:59,061 Well, thank you very much. 354 00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:02,831 My most unforgettable character. 355 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:03,855 What? 356 00:17:05,257 --> 00:17:07,291 reader's digest. 357 00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:16,845 Inspector... Call Me frank, barn. 358 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,848 Come on, be honest with me. 359 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:22,785 Is it possible you had a Few drinks for lunch? 360 00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:25,588 Barney! 361 00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:27,455 I'm on duty. 362 00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:30,125 Yeah, just take it easy, Will you, inspector? 363 00:17:30,149 --> 00:17:31,149 Yeah. 364 00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:36,599 You know, maybe, Maybe it was these pills 365 00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:40,302 That are making Me a little cockney. 366 00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:42,438 - pills? - mm-hmm. 367 00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:46,341 ♪ white pills and green ♪ 368 00:17:46,365 --> 00:17:48,800 ♪ white pills... ♪ 369 00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,882 I don't know, but these Look like tranquilizers. 370 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:57,742 Well... I'm tranquil. 371 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,212 You sure are. 372 00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:04,292 Pretty full. 373 00:18:04,316 --> 00:18:09,419 I think maybe I took them Too close together, barney. 374 00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:13,057 Barney... 375 00:18:14,828 --> 00:18:18,162 I don't know if I Want to marry agnes. 376 00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:21,877 I know, inspector. 377 00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:25,814 It's not the marrying Part, barney. 378 00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:28,405 It's the agnes part. 379 00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:34,289 Maybe you just Need some more time. 380 00:18:34,313 --> 00:18:35,691 No. 381 00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:38,794 No, no, it ain't her, Either, barney. It's me. 382 00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:41,964 I got to be careful Now, you know... 383 00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:45,433 The old thump, thump, thump. 384 00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,870 And I don't know if I... 385 00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:51,606 If I can make the Honeymoon, barn. 386 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:57,279 Barney, you can Lead a horse to water, 387 00:18:57,303 --> 00:19:01,516 But you're not gonna Get a top stud fee 388 00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:06,010 If he's got a defective... Part. 389 00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:14,997 Sergeant, when am I Gonna get out of here? 390 00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:16,832 It's up to you and mr. Lovell. 391 00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:18,834 You can drop the Charges against each other 392 00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:20,268 And get out of here, 393 00:19:20,292 --> 00:19:22,573 Or else we better start Making arrangements for bail. 394 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:29,812 If he pays for the Broken lamp, I'll forget it. 395 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,980 That's fair, isn't it? 396 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:35,751 Fair and fair and twice so fair, 397 00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:38,888 As fair as any may be. 398 00:19:38,912 --> 00:19:40,523 Hey, that's, uh... 399 00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:42,024 - it's a quote. - right. 400 00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:43,080 Yeah. 401 00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:46,562 This is my busy time. 402 00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,564 I didn't need that Kind of aggravation! 403 00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:53,601 Robert, ever since you Started your own business, 404 00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:56,639 You come home tired every night. 405 00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:58,774 Lisa, that's what it takes. 406 00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:01,576 After a while, I said, "It's got to be me. 407 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,880 "Maybe if I could just Be a little bit prettier, 408 00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:07,449 "A little bit more alluring, 409 00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:10,440 Maybe it could Change something." 410 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:19,718 Lisa... 411 00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:24,466 I'm not worth that Kind of sacrifice. 412 00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:26,023 Robert... 413 00:20:27,593 --> 00:20:29,004 Robert, you're... 414 00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:32,362 You're worth any value I could ever put on you. 415 00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:37,768 Kid, that was beautiful. 416 00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:45,588 Oh, that is marvelous. 417 00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:49,291 Barney... Shh, he's asleep. 418 00:20:49,315 --> 00:20:50,759 Oh, the inspector? 419 00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:52,360 Oh, yeah, that's right. 420 00:20:52,384 --> 00:20:54,797 He's just had his 2:00 feeding, huh? 421 00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:57,266 We're in a good mood. 422 00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:59,901 It's walt... You Know, mr. Hathaway. 423 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:04,105 What an absolutely Mind-blowing guy he is, barn. 424 00:21:04,129 --> 00:21:05,374 Really? 425 00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:09,211 I mean, he has led an Utterly fascinating life. 426 00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:11,669 Has he had any prior Jail experiences? 427 00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:16,418 Barn, does he have To go through all... 428 00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:17,875 Yes, he has to. 429 00:21:20,345 --> 00:21:21,445 Just asking. 430 00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:25,461 Captain, dr. Boudreau and lovell 431 00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:27,162 Have decided to drop charges. 432 00:21:27,186 --> 00:21:28,497 Oh, finally. 433 00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:30,566 I gave them your old "Here Are your options" routine. 434 00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:32,167 Oh, really? 435 00:21:32,191 --> 00:21:34,803 Feel free to use it any time. 436 00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:36,505 All right, doc. 437 00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:38,807 Oh, well, thank god. 438 00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:43,111 I've got a lift at 3:00 and a tuck at 4:00. 439 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,235 Busy hands are happy hands. 440 00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:48,116 Yeah. 441 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:52,342 Lovell, I'll send you a bill For the broken lamp, okay? 442 00:21:53,513 --> 00:21:56,191 If it's fair, I'll pay it. 443 00:21:56,215 --> 00:21:58,727 Oh, forget it. 444 00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:01,730 I'll just tack it On to her nose. 445 00:22:01,754 --> 00:22:04,800 That's funny. 446 00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:07,769 I never heard it That way before... 447 00:22:07,793 --> 00:22:09,605 "Tack it on to her nose." 448 00:22:09,629 --> 00:22:12,574 That's a great line. 449 00:22:12,598 --> 00:22:14,364 Bye, lisa. 450 00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:24,285 Barney, I'm gonna Take walt down now 451 00:22:24,309 --> 00:22:25,554 For pictures and prints. 452 00:22:25,578 --> 00:22:27,155 Fine. 453 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,157 Now, don't worry about it. 454 00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:30,492 I'll be all right. 455 00:22:30,516 --> 00:22:32,594 You see, I found I couldn't live 456 00:22:32,618 --> 00:22:35,297 On a small disability Pension from the army, 457 00:22:35,321 --> 00:22:38,166 So those just helped out. 458 00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:43,605 Well, now I don't Have to worry about it. 459 00:22:43,629 --> 00:22:45,341 That's true, isn't it? 460 00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:47,343 Good luck to you, mr. Hathaway. 461 00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:49,110 Thank you, captain. 462 00:22:49,134 --> 00:22:50,478 You all set, walt? 463 00:22:50,502 --> 00:22:53,404 Ready when you are, ron. 464 00:22:59,746 --> 00:23:02,713 Uh, you two can go now. 465 00:23:05,150 --> 00:23:06,516 Anytime you want. 466 00:23:09,121 --> 00:23:10,220 Take your time. 467 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,537 Shall we go home, lisa? 468 00:23:15,561 --> 00:23:18,228 Yeah, let's. 469 00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:25,313 Oh, what the hell? 470 00:23:25,337 --> 00:23:28,183 Let's go out and Have some lunch first. 471 00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:30,240 I don't care. 472 00:23:33,345 --> 00:23:34,890 Captain. 473 00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:36,291 Mrs. Lovell. 474 00:23:36,315 --> 00:23:38,393 Thank you very much, really. 475 00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:40,028 It's quite all right. 476 00:23:40,052 --> 00:23:42,164 Thank you for Letting me cool off. 477 00:23:42,188 --> 00:23:43,599 It's our job. 478 00:23:43,623 --> 00:23:45,223 - bye. - bye now. 479 00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:54,242 It's only skin-deep, right? 480 00:23:58,070 --> 00:24:00,070 If that's the way You guys want to be. 481 00:24:09,081 --> 00:24:12,894 I decided to talk to agnes. 482 00:24:12,918 --> 00:24:15,531 That's a wise Decision, inspector. 483 00:24:15,555 --> 00:24:18,566 Certainly a direct And honest encounter 484 00:24:18,590 --> 00:24:21,937 Is the healthiest of All possible actions. 485 00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:23,639 Yes. 486 00:24:23,663 --> 00:24:28,165 I told her to meet Us here at 6:00.